Alexand Colisimo
NGF Client
Part 4 – Tits Ahoy Captain
Hey hi hello!
I’ll hop right to it, apart from the endorphins, sense of capability and generally feeling revitalized after regular, challenging movement, I’m growing tits. I noticed in the shower a couple of days ago how like… how much more ass I have??? But while in the afterglow of a party I was watering a plant when I noticed (in this very fun mirror we have above the kitchen sink) ya goyl has a chest for like the first time ever.
I know I don’t want this to be some kind of fitspo blog and all, but my chest, shoulders, posture, and arms have been a massive source of dysphoria in my life. What I mean by that is, the projected expectations of someone assigned male at birth is that they are supposed to be strong, and “look” strong. Muscularity is heavily fetishized and sought after, so being quite light and slender my whole life has been a source of a lot of ridicule, comment, and frustration.
The way I perceive myself is through striving for and cultivating grace, poise, precision, accuracy, skill and mastery. These ideas apply to my physical body as well as my sense of achievement, social interactions, wardrobe, even the furnishing in my home. So perceiving myself in a mirror to be more relaxed, open, upright, and with a feeling of flow meant a lot to me in that moment.
Bowie and I keep forgetting to take photos during sessions, I think they took a couple during last week’s training, but this week we’re having a little distance, for the sake of our relationsh- I’m kidding, Bowie’s away and I’m about to be neck deep in a festival for a week ahaha! I’m definitely not worried about how much I’ll move while there.
On another note, I’m really enjoying sharing my thoughts and feelings about physical movement in relation to identity growth. I feel like the structure I’m engaging with allows me to find structure in other areas of my life that might need a little more attention. It is also helping me structure and plan my otherwise really vague and sometimes chaotic weeks.
I feel progress in these bones o mine!
~A
Other posts from Alexand…
My Fearless Journey
When I first started working out with Bowie I was convinced I wouldn’t stick it out for longer than 3 weeks. In my first initial workout we went through an assessment so Bowie could get a good understanding of where my fitness, or lack thereof, was. That first workout came with quite a few realisation moments for me as well.
As a child athlete I had known my body to be strong and lean and it could do just about anything I tried on the first go. As I grew up I held onto that level of flexibility and strength…
…until I had a baby.
Part 5 – Festy Season
Alexand ColisimoNGF Client[wtr-time]Hello and welcome to festy season! Yes, it’s that time of year where we have anxious breakdowns about the world literally ending, the future being terrifying and going yet another year without seeing our relatives. Hazzah! In...
Part 3 – Windsday
Alexand ColisimoNGF Client[wtr-time]Merry Windsday everyone! Maybe I’m still feeling the insular winter spirit, or maybe it’s a particularly melancholic day, but today I feel really reverent; so I’d like to talk a little about how training has begun impacting me on a...