[Episode 46] How To Motivate Yourself To Train

by | Jan 15, 2021

In this episode we’ll be looking at what deep down motivates us to make the choices to begin training or moving our bodies.

Knowing our WHY is the most important part of getting moving in whatever way.

It becomes the reason we keep doing what we’re doing, long term.

And this is the time of year where many people feel inspired to get more active. Or decide to make changes to their lifestyles or just do something different.

Which is AMAZING.

But, truly knowing why you are wanting to do these things is so important.

It’s also around this time that most gyms are pumping out horrible adverts for getting your beach body/summer body or creating that “new you”.

Now before we go any further here, I want to be really clear that there is nothing wrong with you as you are right now.

Sure you may not be exactly where you want to be, but that doesn’t mean where you’re at now is wrong.

So any activity or change that you are thinking of or are in the process of making needs to come from a place of self love.

It’s so easy to shame ourselves into getting active or making changes because we think it will make us more accepted.

The truth is, these reasons to take action will NEVER be sustainable.

Exploring your training goals

You see, over the years that I’ve been training, I’ve had to explore and re-explore my reasons why I train over and over again.

As a result, they haven’t necessarily stayed the same. Particularly once I reached my initial goals.

When I started training I wanted to look athletic and muscular and feel strong.

Because I thought it would help me become the “true” me.

Moreover, these thoughts influenced the way I trained. I thought the only way to achieve the look I wanted was to always push myself hard.

But it never made me happy.

Even after I got more muscular and athletic looking, it didn’t change the way I thought of myself.

Now I get that just by looking at me from a physical perspective it could be easy to think that I must always feel pretty great about myself.

But to be truly honest, there are plenty of times that I look at myself and think that what I’ve done isn’t enough.

Physically transitioning with fitness training

However, after spending so many years training, I’ve come to realise that physical changes or any external change really won’t make me more me.

Sure it helped. But there is so much inside work that I need to do around the way that I think about myself and that true for most of us.

So you’ve gotta learn to understand your true goals for why you are doing the things you want to do as well.

As I’ve mentioned, I have trained long enough now to have seen my motivations for training change more than once.

But the most important thing is that my reasons have always been very much for me.

Originally my motivations were purely for aesthetics. Then my focus changed to super strength. Now especially as I’ve gotten older, it’s more about moving my body how I want without pain or discomfort.

And it’s possible for you to find your true reasons why too.

Why do you want to train?

Start by writing down all the reasons why you want to get more active/move your body.

For each reason you’ve got written down, ask yourself why 5 times.

As an example, let’s say I want to get leaner and more toned. My notes may look a little something like this…


Why do I want to get leaner and more toned? It will help me feel more confident Why is it important for me to feel confident? Because when I feel more confident it helps me feel that I can be myself more. Why is that important. Because feeling like I can be myself more means that I feel safer to present in a way that I feel aligns better with who I am. And why is that important? Because when I’m able to present in a way that helps me express my true self I feel happier about myself and my life. Any why is it important for me to feel happier about myself and my life? Because feeling happier about myself and my life means that I can do what I want in life for myself and help the people around me.


So getting leaner and more toned isn’t just about getting leaner and more toned. There is so much more to it.

Now this process may not be a quick one. But when your making decisions that have the potential to influence the rest of your life, taking your time and exploring things deeper is totally worth it.

The trick is to be really honest here to. Answering a why with something like because I want to, isn’t going to be helpful.

Be really open to listening to what comes up for you no matter how uncomfortable it may feel.

Learning about yourself is how you can grow as a human.

And if you don’t feel that you have the capacity to do an activity like this on your own then don’t. Perhaps you could have a friend, family member or mental health professional help you out and support you with the things that may come up for you.

Also you don’t have to do it all in one sitting. If you have quite a few reasons for why you want to train, you could always work through your thoughts about it over multiple sittings.

Just remember this activity is about understanding what you truly want. It’s not about shaming yourself for where you may be at right now. Or listing the things about yourself that you aren’t happy with.

It is 100% about learning what you want. That way you can start changing the things that you do have control over in your life.

Bowie Stover Thinking Pose

Bowie Stover

Pronouns: they/them

My passion to help others through developing an active and healthy lifestyle, along with my desire to contribute as much as I can back to our queer community, has led me to co-found Non Gendered Fitness. To be a small part of your day that makes a HUGE impact on your life would be one of the most gratifying and rewarding experiences that I could hope to have.

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You can also find me (Bowie), Non Gendered Fitness (NGF) and Non Gendered Fitness (NGF) on instagram and Facebook at the links below.

Bowie: @the.no.t.enbie
NGF: @non_gendered_fitness



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Non Binary Fitness Coach Bowie Stover kneeling with two kettlebells

Bowie Stover
Kettlebell and Movement Coach

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