[Episode 42] In Recognition Of Trans And Gender Diverse People Everywhere

This episode is all about Transgender awareness week and Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Trans awareness celebrates and acknowledges the totally rad and amazing TGD community around the world.

It’s a time when we can celebrate the achievements of our community. The visibility that we have gained and in some places the rights that we may have won. The week finishes with Trans Day of Remembrance on November 20th, which is today in Australia.

I want to take a moment to acknowledge the many people from our community who are no longer here because of the harm caused to them by transphobic people or by the system that upholds transphobic values.

I want to acknowledge all the TGD lives lost around the world.

“We live in societies that just can’t deal with the level of self awareness that so many Trans and Gender Diverse folks have. “

The very act of affirming our identities scares some cis people. It challenges them to see the world differently from how we all are taught.

And they just don’t know how to manage that. They cling to their frail constructs of sex and gender.

I see this as one of the biggest causes of transphobic cis folks lashing out.

They are unable to manage the range of emotions that comes up for them when they meet a Trans or Gender Diverse person.

Because these people feel feelings, it becomes the fault of the Trans or Gender Diverse person.

And their lashing out can range from invalidating our identities like dead naming and misgendering to being physically violent.

I don’t think there’s a Trans or Gender Diverse person in the world that hasn’t experienced some form of Transphobia from cis people.

“Now I know it’s exhausting constantly having to educate the people around us. And then hold space for them while they process their experiences of our identities. “

The very act of affirming our identities scares some cis people. It challenges them to see the world differently from how we all are taught.

And they just don’t know how to manage that. They cling to their frail constructs of sex and gender.

I see this as one of the biggest causes of transphobic cis folks lashing out.

They are unable to manage the range of emotions that comes up for them when they meet a Trans or Gender Diverse person.

Because these people feel feelings, it becomes the fault of the Trans or Gender Diverse person.

And their lashing out can range from invalidating our identities like dead naming and misgendering to being physically violent.

 

Experiences of Transphobia

I don’t think there’s a Trans or Gender Diverse person in the world that hasn’t experienced some form of Transphobia from cis people.

Now I know it’s exhausting constantly having to educate the people around us. And then hold space for them while they process their experiences of our identities.

But it is not necessarily always going to be hard. Even though it may seem so right now.

I think that a majority of people just lack awareness.

And not just of our identities or the many different ways people can express themselves.

But even of their own identities. And that they themselves have a gender identity.

And not just that, it’s almost like when it comes to a TGD identity, some cis folks lack the capacity to understand what is rude to say and what is not too.

Some of the things I’ve had said to me or have had people ask just blows my mind.

Because a cis person would NEVER say this stuff to another cis person.

I had numerous people ask me about my genitals at different times.

And when I questioned them on whether they would ask that question to anyone else, they seriously tried to tell me they would ask this to anyone they had just met.

It just conforms with what we are all taught by the cis/het centric, white supremacist, patriarchal soggy dollop that is Western society.

 

Affirming your identity

So I find just reminding myself of this to help me manage the bullshit that gets put on me.

A person’s words can only hurt me if I let them, so I don’t. This has taken practice though. A lot of practice.

And you don’t have to educate the people around you either. It is not your responsibility to do that.  You do what you feel is best for you.

And no matter what anyone says, your identity is valid.

 

 

The Trans and Gender Diverse community is the single most intersectional community in the world.

Whether we live openly or not our identities are valid.

Remember no matter where you are friends that you are not alone. Take the time to do the things that you need to do for you.

Do your best to look after your mental health.

And try to find affirming spaces that you can get support from. This may be online or in person.

If you’re enjoying the show and know other folks that may find some benefit in having a listen, I’d be so grateful if you shared it with them or anywhere else where you think that it could help someone.